Two cowboys are in a kitchen. The first one says, "I feel at Home on the range!" To which the second replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he has never pursued his real dream.

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Why did the mathematician cross the road? To get his mail.

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Lethal injection is a lot more humane than the electric chair. I know because nobody's complained about it yet.

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A girl was walking home from school, she had a pizza box in her hands, her mom was waiting for her in the car to take her to T.G.I.F, and then she dropped the pizza box in the middle of the street. In a frantic attemp to get the box, she run out into the middle of the street and got hit by a semi. Her funeral is tomorrow.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A Holocaust survivor.

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This is a joke

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Why didn't the woman believe in God? Her own personal beliefs.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven has a hook for one of his hands carries a chain saw in the other an gets into six's dreams...thats just scary

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he was dead.

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I was at the ocean, and I saw a screaming fish. Then it died.

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Why didn't the woman cook dinner for her husband? She had to work late.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is blind and is a women, who are notoriously bad drivers.

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What's there like a good neighbor? Your neighbor

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Why did the chicken kill himself? Because he was bullied as a child and is now suicidal

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How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

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What do you call a man with a cigar in his mouth. A person with bad health and dirty teeth.

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"You've got a lot of C in your body." said the doctor. Jimmy replied with glee: "Ah that's great news, vitamin C is.." "No you've got Hepatitis C, you'll be dead within a month."

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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Man 1: WHAT THE HELL?!?! Man 2: There is no verb in that sentence

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Twenty-Four

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Q:Why do people not live forever? A: Because they die dumbass.

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so there was two ducks in a bathtub. one duck says to the other duck, "hey, can you pass me the soap? the other duck says no.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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