If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

What did the gay man say to the deaf man? I don't know, I can't hear.

What do you get when you cross a horse and a donkey? a mule

What do you call an Arab on a plane? A passenger, you racist!

A child rides by his mother on his bicycle and says "Look Mom, no hands!" The child doesn't come back, and night falls but he has yet to come home. His mother calls the police and a search begins 2 days later. He is never found is presumed dead.

Why did the dude fall into a box? Because he was hit by a bus.

What did one child say to the other child? We both are kids.

Why was the man late for work? Because he slept in.

what do you call a deer with no eyes? no eye deer! -jpow

What do you call someone with no legs nor arms? Mat

Me: I have a great knock knock joke but you have to start it off. You: Knock knock Me: who's there? You: silence as the person is confused as what's going on

And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, "The one whom I kiss is the one you seek. " To which they responded, "Gay. "

A. Knock Knock B. Welcome!

What is brown and sticky? A stick.

What is Megan Fox's middle name? Denise

Whats the difference between a raisin and a old lady? One is alive, i think.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

Yo mamma's so fat, at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that if she did not attempt to control her weight gain through a careful moderation of her diet and began exercising on a regular basis, that her obesity would soon manifest itself in a variety of chronic health conditions that would permanently alter her ability to enjoy life and could significantly decrease her lifespan.

whats better then 10 babies nailed to 1 tree... 1 baby nailed to 10 trees!

why cant helen keller drive? because cars werent popularly accepted when she lived.

If she is under the age of 18 years old and is identified by your state as a minor, shes too young for you bro.

Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

Why is Kony hated by the kid with ADHD? Hey look a kid being raped while watching his family getting killed.

what is worst than finding a worm in your apple? finding half a worm in your apple

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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