How do you make Mandy Ann shut up? Clown Car

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead...

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What drink is dark yellow and freshly squeezed from one of the most healthy snacks? Piss.

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How many hours of sleep did Jimmy get last night? Zero, because he has insomnia. Jimmy got fired from his job today because of his lack of energy and motivation due to his disorder. His wife divorced Jimmy because he can no longer support her and their two kids.

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What happens when you shoot a priest in the heart? He dies.

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Why did the girl put on make-up and perfume? Because she was ugly and smelled bad.

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Usually, the bad (anti) jokes are the ones that don't make you laugh. Sometimes you laugh "with" the joke, other times, you laugh at the joke itself because it is a paragon for human failure. The jokes on this website are not exempt from that rigid stipulation. However, it should be noted that all the "jokes" on this particular website are actually hilarious because of the latter reason delineated in the above paragraph. Additionally, this joke was created by a machine and thus the originator of this work is by no means able to learn from the process of trial and error and therfore can make myriad unfunny jokes without compromise.

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Why did the coconut fall out of the tree? Gravity.

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What's worse than an anti-joke? People who don't get the concept of an anti-joke and post regular jokes on this site.

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Paul and Steve, Siamese twins attached at the head, come to a fork in the road they are traveling. Paul wants to go left, while Steve wants to go right. They pause for a moment to figure out which direction would be the best choice for the both of them. They decide to go Paul's way, and as they continue to travel in silence, they try to imagine what life as a self-reliant individual would be like.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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why did the building fall down the terrorists came back

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Knock knock. Is someone there?

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Why was Sally crying She got a high five In the face With a chair

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Q: What dosent a Jew and a pizza have in commen? A: The pizza dosent scream when you put it in the oven.

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How to do you kill a blonde? Various methods, most effective of which is firing squad

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Why does snoop dogg carry around an umbrella?? ......fo drizzle

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Q: how do you make a baby blow bubbles? A: hold it under water, or as an alternative you could hold it under its twin sisters blood.

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Why do guys like Halloween? Martin Luther posted the 95 theses in 1517 on this day.

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What's yellow and highly dangerous? Shark-infested banana pudding.

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A guy walks into a bar, but a metal bar, he hurts his head, he goes to the hospital to get an x-ray, Turns out he hard a brain tumor, He died the next day,

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the man the invented it doesnt want it, the man that wants it doesnt need it, and the man the needs it doesnt know it....what is it? a coffin.

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TEAM Together Everyone Argues More

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a tree? Nailing1 baby to 10 trees

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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