A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender says "what'll it be?" The bartender is then sent to a medical clinic after letting several wild animals into his bar and proceeding to feed them alcoholic drinks. He is diagnosed with schizophrenia.

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A fish finds that his fishbowl is on fire. He escapes the bowl only to realize he is equally screwed.

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What did one prisoner on death row say to the other? Can you please clean off the seat when you're done? I'd like to die in my own urine.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you came 'cause GameGrumps Fuck you.

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Violets are red. Roses are blue. I am drunk, and i'm about to spew.

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What do you call a Mexican on a boat? A sailor

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You are so stupid you should go to school and get an education so you are able to get a well paying job in this tough economy

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what do you call a mixbreed of a bull dog and a shitzu? a sharpei

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What did the Pope say to the little boy? Look both ways before crossing the street

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Why did the blonde have the biggest tits in 3rd grade? She's 21

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If life gives you melons you're dyslexic.

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Why was Timmy dirty? Because he was buried

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knock knock who's there? a murderer. a murderer who? a murderer who kills you and your family.

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How do gay guys have sex with women?? They dont, they are gay.

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What do you call a giggling penguin? Personification.

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What's brown and sticky? Poo.

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Knock knock Who's there? An elf. An elf who? An elf who wants to be a dentist.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Q: Why didnt the irishman walk out of the bar? A: He died of severe alchoholism and had a heart attack and died istantly

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A man calls 911 911: hello? Man: sorry wrong number.

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Do you know what is dead on the carpet ? Your mother

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The original "Chicken cross road" joke is a Anti joke in itself.

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What did the college student say after he failed his test? He didn't say anything, he was a mute.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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