See now that is confident and down to earth, reasonable, and all the etc etc`s, so what would you like me to fill them in with? Joking aside, you are smart, funny, you take a beating (sorry that`s today`s new low point, I have never hit a woman and never will, sure I punched down the GigaLesb when she lifted me up and my spine started making cracking noises, but that does not technically count as a woman). You are sweet, you are cute, you are funny, you are hot hot hot (hattrick see?), and yeah yeah if you want me to prove to people here that we know each other, sure, I met you once like 15 years ago? You kinda adored me, I could not take my eyes of yours (oh yeah, you got adorable eyes sure), and... You got huge breasts (Tits are more like those hanging you know what I mean) Sigh sometimes a boy wonders what he is doing with his life, he falls for the strangest girls... ...AND THEN SAID BOY FINDS HIMSELF BROKEN IN TWINE BY ME!

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I've had amnesia as long as I can remember

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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Why was little Johnny sad? His parents were killed in an awful fire

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i want justin beiber to release more albums so that i can not buy them

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what did the black man eat for dinner? a sandwich

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why was the boy's face burnt? a horrible accident involving a lighter and some hairspray

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Know what's worse than three bee stings? living every day in fear of your schizophrenic hallucinations

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sticks and stones may break my bones but hemophilia will make me bleed to death

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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How do you get a black person to drop chicken? Yell KKK.

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What's a zombie's favourite dessert? I don't know, but I'll give you 50 bucks to go and ask one.

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Cavan keely's the type of guy who drives past hilltown screaming GET IT THE VAN!!

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What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. She's already been told twice.

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Where did Susie go after an explosion? Everywhere

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You have been brought down to hell where you are welcomed by satan. "Welcome to hell, where you watch your loved ones get tortured for all eternity" Satan said "Where is everyone? " you ask "Hmmm, I guess you were never really loved"He replied

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Make some fucking lemonade.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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Ipod to earbuds: "hey buds" earbuds response: "sup player"

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How do you kill chuck norris? With a gun...from 40 feet away

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A politician from the National Country Party keeps interjecting - "I'm a country member, i'm a country member' "yes we remember" says Gough whitlam

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since when?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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