How do you kill chuck norris? With a gun...from 40 feet away

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Why was it true for sure? It was on wikipedia.

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Hi my name is Jim

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tobi is so gay that he is the mayor of sanfrancisco

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Two blonds are driving to Disneyland. While there driving they see a sign "Disneyland: left" So they started crying and headed back home.

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What happened when the Neo-Nazi ran into a group of black people? He listened to their struggles, heard their stories, accepted their diversity and eventually hung up his hateful ways.

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How do you make a ninja fly a plane? You put a gun to his head and say fly this plane.

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Whats the difference between a cat and a dog? Nothing a cat and a dog is an extremely different species.

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what do you get when a bear and a man mix a really pissed off bear and a dead man

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What did the American say to the Russian? Hello, but the Russian did not understand

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: Boobees

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What did your mom say when Quinn Griffith Randel walked in the door? Hi.

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What does a Chinese girl get for Christmas? New parents...

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A blonde and a brunette both starred in a TV show.. It was called Beavis and Butthead.

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You know what's funny? A bucket full of dead babies. Do you know what's funnier? The last one is still alive and crying.

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What is worse then North Korea trying to blow up everybody? Peter Griffin twerking.

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roses are red , violets are blue , sugar is sweet and so are you. the roses are wilting the violets are dead. the sugar bowl is empty and so is your head

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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What did the man with five penises say? I have 5 penises.

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What is faster than a black guy stealing a TV? His brother with a DVR

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Why did 12 people die when they went to see The Dark Knight Rises movie premiere? Because they were shot and bled profusely resulting in quick, painful death.

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what rhymes with pirates? not Somalia because i don't consider a inflatable boat a pirate ship.

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Knock knock Who's there? A very long space I see what you did there

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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