What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A nugget

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Guy 1: I had a Energy Drink the other day, I crashed. Guy 2: Really? That must of sucked. Guy 1: Yeah, the family in the other car died.

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your momma's so stupid she shot herself

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3 friends are out camping. One says to the other "It sure is a great day to go fishing." The other says "Yes indeed." The third one says "I agree." After a few minutes of hiking, they go to lake and begin fishing.

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You know what you can do with your offer to 'help'? Await another opportunity please I appreciate it much.

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Q. How many lemons does one person take to fill a ladder? A. Fish

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What did my dad say when i knocked over the christmas tree? nothing, my father is dead

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what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

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A scientist walks into a bar. His forehead becomes swollen.

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How do you starve a blonde? You tie them up and deprive them of any food.

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(approach girl) How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to fit into the same dress as you

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If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples how many pankackes can fit on the roof? Purple because alians do not wear hats./

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Why did the squirl eat the accorn? Because he enjoys it.

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A duck walked up to the lemonade stand And he said to the man running the stand: QUACK!

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Customer: "I can't turn my computer on." Phone support: "Do you have power?" Customer: "Yes." Phone support: "Do you have fingers?" Customer: "No."

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What do you call a shattered lightbulb? A hazard that should be taken very seriously.

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A Mexican, A Caucasian and An African American walk into a bar. Suddenly, a rival of the African American's pulls up in a used Chevrolet and shoots him 6 times with a semi-automatic handgun. The Mexican and Caucasian are distraught and call 911 immediately. The rival is later arrested and found guilty of murder in the first degree by a jury of his peers. Less than 6 months later, the bar is closed due to the negative stigma surrounding the shooting. Urban life is a harrowing and tough experience that most outsiders will never fully understand.

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What did the little boy order at Burger King? He ordered a burger and wiped his booger on the counter.

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If an illegal immigrant fought a child molester, is it Alien vs. Predator?

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You.

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Why did the man name his boy "Sue?" He had bad eyesight and thought it was a girl.

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Why did Jimmy's sexy teacher ask him to stay behind after class? His grades have been slipping and she expects better from her students. How anyone views her sexually is of no relevance to this situation.

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Trolololollolololololololololololololol

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.... Take my wife..... .... She is lovely....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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