Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

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why did the chicken not cross the road? He ran

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shall i compare thee to a summers day, no, because thee are ugly, yay

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Daughter: Mom can i watch a movie? Mom: Sure. Daughter: Thanks mom! You're the best mom in the world! Well....Mary is, since she had Jesus.....But anyway. Thanks!

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What did jell say to the carriage driver from Uzbekistan that was underpaid and had no banter? Oh My God ROFLMAOOTG (the last three are "on the ground") "I will beat you with a small child that I will soon feed to the T-Rex's" should be on the list.

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how many people can you eat? well, im not canniballistic, so none unless i was starving.

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A pilot.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? i have no idea but i hope he got to the other side safely.

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Seen the new batman movie? [spoiler] the audience dies

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dumpster full of dead babies? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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knock knock whos there not me

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if a dinosaurs could talk, what would they say nothing their all dead

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? A stimulus in the environment to the receptors in his fingers caused his hand to open no longer gripping the ice cream. Due to this, the ice cream fell to the ground causing a desirable mess for someone to clean up, satisfying themselves with the fact that they have considered the environment during this small ''could happen to anybody'' situation. After the messed was cleaned up, the boy's mother bought him another ice cream, in which case the boy anticipated another potential mess, and held the ice cream carefully. As he did this, he managed to finish eating the whole of the ice cream, allowing no money that was paid for the product to go to waste.

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A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

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My brother found snow in his hair from last year... only people who know me know this joke!!haha -sopie

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A kid walked in to a bar, grabbed a napkin, and left

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech? One is a blood-sucking parasite, and the other practices law for a living.

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What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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What's older than history? Pre-history.

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What is Justin Beiber's favorite pastime? According to his biography, it's reading science fiction novels

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why do pedo's molest children? because it feels really good.

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A seal walks into a club.

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What did one narwhal say to another Hi ;)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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