When life gives you lemons you can't make lemonade! Life is not a person, place, or thing that is able to physically hand you something! But, you can go to your local grocery store and buy some lemons.

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Dear mom, I'm wearing skinny jeans. If I can't get them off, Neither can the rapist.

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Why is the black guy unable to support his family? He's 3 years old.

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what does an Ethiopian man say to greet a Chinese man well, first they must locate a translator fluent in both said languages, but they would most likely say hello

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A seal walks into a club.

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"Knock Knock" "Who the hell is it?" "Patri..." "Go the hell away!"

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what's worse than getting a bad test grade? being raped.

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Why was Thomas Jefferson chosen to write the Declaration of Independence? He was an educated man and seemed suitable for said job.

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Why did Justin Beiber cross the road? He didn't because he is still in the closet!

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Why did the pasta not taste good? Because your mom made it.

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what is it called when a woman is president. The Apacolypse.

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What was the dying boy's last wish? Not to die.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dumpster full of dead babies? There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

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Yo mama so fat, she was accepted to a clinical trial for treatment of morbid obesity in middle-aged women.

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Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

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shall i compare thee to a summers day, no, because thee are ugly, yay

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What did the muffin say to the other? This isn't logical

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What is the difference between you and I? I obviously have a life aas you don't because you are still reading these stupid jokes.

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British Dentistry

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Your mother is so succsessfull that she can have any job she wants, she is probally going to stick with her current job though, She is a lawyer.

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What is sad about four lawyers in a car driving of a cliff? The car fit six people.

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Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

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JFK

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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