A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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For anti-joke.com, there should be a section called "Hot" that shows new jokes which are given 5 thumbs up or up. This way we would get new jokes on the popular section instead of having the same ones for a very long time. I know this isn't a joke, but thumbs up if you agree.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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And so the poster says to the apple ........ Your not my dog

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A plane is flying low over New York City. It's low on fuel and needs to land.

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A batch of muffins is cooking in the oven, one muffin says to the others "it's hot in here!" the other muffins don't respond because they're muffins. He's the only of his kind.

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Whats worse than finding a worm guts in your apple? Being raped by a alien with no arms then passed on to his comrades to be raped for the rest of your life.

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Two gay guys hosted a barbecue. The music and food was great. Everyone had a good time.

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How do you starve a black man? You don't feed him.

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You know what's funnier than 24? 25.

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what is it called when a woman is president. The Apacolypse.

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Whats 9+10? Well it's certainly not 21

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What do you call a pakie flying a plane The pilot... or a terrorist it up to you

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What is white and when it falls, your fridge is broken? Your fridge.

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What's the difference between a Pogo-stick and a Unicorn. A lot actually.

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What's uneducated, black, and over six feet tall? A light pole.

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A black man owns his own night club. He tells the white man to look out for his night club. The white man bangs his head. The black man says, I told you to look out, you have now bumped into my big club that I take out at night time.

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Oliver O'Farkle walks into a blue room carrying a bag of oranges and Swanson J. Doople walks into the same room in a parallel universe carrying a ballpeen hammer. How much collective space do the two women occupy and will they be able to make the 4pm train to Terre Haute? No, because the train is running late so transportation efficiency on the day in question proves impossible.

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Then lets give this another shot, this time we stop questioning how to make others happy, and if that is what makes us happy, then we ask: What else.

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If Earth is a triangle, then why are trees smart? Because turtles have 4 legs

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had to arms. Knock knock Who's there? Well clearly not Sally

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What's red and on fire? My crotch

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Why the long face?" The bartender backhands the man making him fall off of his stool.

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? A disgusting halfbreed which prays daily for its own euthenasia...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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