Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

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What did the man with five penises say? I have 5 penises.

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a man asked another man what time its it. The man responded by telling him the time and asking why he wanted to know. "thats none of your business" he replied. Why did he say it was none of his business? A- because it was none of his business.

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I like apples. So does Mr. Johnson from the local fruit stand.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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whats cold and in a box...have a guess

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What do you call a black person at a 7-11? A customer.

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Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

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Four Iraqis played hide and seek 17 years ago, one of them missing, why? he's still hiding.

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Q: Why was the bacteria afraid of the sanitizer? A: Because hand sanitizers are made up of ethyl alcohol, inactive additives such as water, other alcohols and fragrances. Ethyl alcohol is the active ingredient in hand sanitizer and is designed to kill germs.

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a black guy and a hispanic are in a car. Whos driveing? The bvlack guys mom, picking them up from a church class, and takeing them to volunteer a the local homeless shelter.

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Why did the Muslim enter the bar? He didn't.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? NOT SALLY

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hi

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You know what's funny? A bucket full of dead babies. Do you know what's funnier? The last one is still alive and crying.

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What type of person does a black guy go to when he's sick? The doctor

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The Pope

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Your maternal figure contains so many Triglycerides, her belt size is greater than or equal to the circumference of the Earth.

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Knock knock who's there?... a stupid punchline because the door is imaginary and I am just wasting your time telling a knock knock joke

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How do you make a blonde happy? Do something that causes that person to release endorphins.

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Knock Knock . . . I'm coming in!

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What did the guy who killed Osama Bin Laden say? Burn!

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i tped this with my toiung. now i hve germs

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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