What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

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What is the difference between a cow and a pig? To get to the other side.

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Andy Warhol said we will all be famous for fifteen minutes. My soccer coach molested me and the trial was televised, they obscured my face and voice because I was twelve at the time.

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Why was Thomas Jefferson chosen to write the Declaration of Independence? He was an educated man and seemed suitable for said job.

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Why did the black man go to school? So he could graduate with a degree and persue his life in medicine. He later goes on to get his P.H.D. He now supports his healthy family of 5 and living in Idaho, the state of the potato. He has a job as a doctor and is making more than $2M a year. Ha, didn't expect that now did ya.

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Patient: Hey doc, I think I might have a tumor... Doc: Don't worry, it's all in your head.

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What has two thumbs and cancer? This guy.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? IT WAS DEAD.

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Why did the man shut up? because he was told to

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why did the chicken not cross the road? He ran

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What's red, yellow, and full of diabetes? Mcdonalds

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A man walks into a school, he then proceeds to gun down the majority of the students before taking his own life. What a sad, sad day.

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69

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did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? he's all right now

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What stinks and comes out of someones mouth. Bad Breath

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What is sad about four lawyers in a car driving of a cliff? The car fit six people.

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a ghost walks into a bar and sais BOO! The bartender then yelded AAAAHHH! and died of a hart attack.

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Whats worse than a blonde jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car, and orphaning two little girls who are beat in the orphanage and become homeless and unimportant and consequently jumping off bridges themselves?

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Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

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Why was the little boy sad? Cause his mum died of a terminal illness. Why was the little girl sad? Cause she was his sibling.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He still lives there.

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What did the the policeman say to the band member who trashed a hotel room? "You're under arrest" The band member replied "Well, you're under a vest" The policeman reiterates that this isn't the time to be making any jokes and that vandalism is a very serious offence

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A seal walks into a club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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