Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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What did the black guy said when he ate a pie? Nothing, he learned not to speak with a full mouth.

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what's worse than getting a bad test grade? being raped.

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What's worse than finding a hair in your sandwitch? Finding a dead baby in your salad!

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Imagine Buzz Lightyear standing on the edge of a cliff. He jumps off hoping to fly. He manages to glide for a little bit until a bird crashes into him a cause one of his wings to break. What happens then? Simply imagine him turning into bird.

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Q. Which is bigger, a dog or the Statue of Liberty? (Trick question! Think carefully before looking at the answer!) A. The Statue of Liberty.

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Did you hear what happened when the President, the Pope and the Dalai Lama went golfing? Neither did I.

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What is a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

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A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

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What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

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How was the fifty-four year old counselor in nineteen places at once? He was blasted by a cannonball.

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Your mom is so stupid she went back to collage and got her masters n buissnes.

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a ghost walks into a bar and sais BOO! The bartender then yelded AAAAHHH! and died of a hart attack.

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What is the difference between you and I? I obviously have a life aas you don't because you are still reading these stupid jokes.

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Watermelons don't have feet.

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Q: What did the bartender say to the Arab as he was walking in? A: Nothing, the bomb had already killed them both.

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What was the dying boy's last wish? Not to die.

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Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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Why was the fish disappointed with his grades? They were all below C-level!

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whats arrogant, has blonde hair and belongs in the kitchen? Gordon Ramsay

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What's black and blue and red all over Sex

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British Dentistry

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Did you hear about the blond who went to college? She got her masters. became and environmental scientist, married a nice man, and had two wonderful children. After retiring at age 65, she spent the rest of her days living in a cozy beachside house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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