Why couldnt i think of an anti-joke? cuz i was too high and a fly distracted me

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women's rights

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What happened to the Jew with a boner that ran into a wall? He broke his nose.

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What did the little boy do when he dropped his ice cream? Acted very mature and requested another one from his mother

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There were once two horses names Bill and Ed who lived on a farm. Every day Bill and Ed would race from the old barn past the broken tractor to the tall oak tree. Bill was very fast, but Ed always beat Bill. After many months, Bill was fed up. "I've had it with you!" he shouted to Ed. "I won't race with you anymore." Ed was very sad. He liked racing very much. The next day, Ed asked Bill, "Hey Bill, come race with me to the tall oak tree!" But Bill said, "No, you'll just beat me. I won't race with you." Ed thought for a moment, then said, "Fine, I'll let you start 5 meters in front of me." Bill pondered the proposition. Finally, he agreed. They started at the old barn, with Bill 5 meters in front of Ed. They both started running at the same time. As they passed the broken truck, Bill was happy to see that he was beating Ed. But at the last second, Ed sprinted forwards and beat Bill. "Ed!" shouted Bill, exasperated. "I can't believe you beat me! I'm never racing you again." But the next day, Ed asked Bill to race again. "This time, you can start 15 meters in front of me." Bill pondered the proposition, then finally agreed. 15 meters was a long way to catch up. They began to race. Bill was winning, but at the last second, Ed caught up and beat him. "Ed! I can't believe you beat me! I will never race you again," said Bill. But the next day, Ed asked Bill to race him again. "No way!" said Bill. "This time, I'll let you start at the broken truck," offered Ed. Bill thought for a moment. The truck was very close to the old oak tree, there was no way Ed could beat him. So he agreed. They began to race again. Bill was winning, but at the last second, Ed beat him again. "That's it!" shouted Bill. "I will never, ever race with you again!" But the next day Ed asked Bill again to race him. "This time, you can start 10 meters from the oak tree." Bill thought about it. There was no way Ed could beat him if he started 10 meters from the finish line. But his thoughts were interrupted by the dog running over. He said, "Bill! Don't race him, he will surely beat you!" Bill was silent for a moment. He looked at the dog, then to Ed. Then back to the dog. Then back to Ed. "Ed," he said perplexedly, "I didn't know dogs could talk too!"

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Knock knock, Who's there? Jason. Jason wh-(death sound when being cut by chainsaw)

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Why wasn't the turkey hungry on thanksgiving? Because it was dead!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sausage is brown, and so is my wife.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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What is the saddest episode on tv ever? The live broadcast of the World Trade Center being destroyed.

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Roses are ??red Vilotes are ????blue I am single and now so are u???? no go move on I don't need u I have some weed and I'm willing to kill u

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. No, the Holocaust never happened, you're an idiot.

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SINCE YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY READING THIS, IT WILL GET THE MOST LIKES!!!!!

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What did the man do when he walked into the gym? Died of a brain aneurysm.

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Your mama so stupid. She tried to climb over a glass wall to see the other side

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Whats better than winning gold at the special olympics? Not being retarded

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*knock knock "there's a door bell"

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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What did the coach do to the player Coached the player

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What do you call a black man in court? A lawyer.

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what do babies and prostitutes have in common they will both cry if you hit them with a brick

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What do you get when you combine Seth Rogen and Harrison Ford? A very risky and expensive medical experiment.

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Whats red and hurts if it hits you in the face? a brick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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