Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

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why didn't the food in your microwave warm up ? because you didn't press start.

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A Man walks into a bar, he sits down on a stool and begins to cry. Why are you crying, asks the Bartender. I just lost my job, my wife left me and I had my car reposesed. Ok says the Bartender, I know what'll cheer you up, he promptly pulls out a 12 inch piano and begins to play. The Man at the Bar says, hey thats awesome where did you get it? The Bartender says, a really old Genie gave it to me. You know what, I like you so I am going to let you have my last wish. Really? Asks the man, Ok thanks, I wish for a million bucks said the man at the bar. There was a Loud voice saying "Your Wish has been granted" then the room was full of ducks. Hey! Exclaimed the man, I didn't wish for a million ducks, I wished for a million bucks! Yeah, said the bartender, and I wished for a 12 inch penis...

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Why did the boy fail gym? He had cancer and had to amputate both of his legs.

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roses are red vioets are blue i have chlamydia now so do you....

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What's yellow and smells like piss? Piss

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what happened to the woman who was a prostitute? She was arrested because it is a crime

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Did you hear about the toddler that was playing on the swing? He got abducted.

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A man heard a thundering sound. It was thunder.

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Whats better than 1 dollar? 2 dollars.

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What do you get when you mix Fruit and Flys? Fries... or Flutes, depending on how many Flys your add.

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Q: What do you call a fly with no wings. A: Dying.

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Is your refrigerator running? Go fuck yourself

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What did the moon say to the sun? "I am the moon."

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Why did the Chinese man cross the road? To get to the Chinese restaurant.

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a Squirrl climded a tree to get a nut

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What do you feel when you kill a terrorist? Recoil -USMC

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Have you ever heard of Yoda? From 'Attack of the Clones'?

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A man decides to commit suicide and jumps from the highest building in New York, he dies instantly on impact... the day was septermber 11th 2001, either way it was the end for the man

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Doorknob.?/111111!!!!hrfuasdyfgasdkhfgawihbrtpaeyrgfai;yegf;gtf L Like or I will killl you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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whats sixty-twelve and a half + one one sixty-twelve isn't a number

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On a scale of Voldemort to Nigel Thornberry, how large is your nose?

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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69

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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