Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's a woman.

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What's pink and fluffy? A feather duster.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, sauce on apples.

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Ask me if I'm a human! - Are you a human? No. The correct term would be a human being.

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What did the abortion say to the womb? I'm outta here.

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A blonde and a brunette are falling from a cliff. They are going to die.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? Because it wanted to be a monkey? Why did the John fall out of the tree? Because he has no arms and legs because he suffers from a severe case of lepracy. Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by three monkeys, a fridge and a boy with no limbs.

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Q: What do you call a black preist? A: Father

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Knock, knock Who's there? Europe Europe who? No, I'm not, you're a poo!

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Yo momma so fat She has heart problems

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W.N.B.A.

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Is your friend gay? Yeah, duh, of course he's happy.

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Your mama's teeth are so yellow... She should think about scheduling an appointment at a local dentist's office.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven raped and murdered his family.

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What do you call a middle eastern man flying a plane?? A pilot.

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if she is old enough to bleed, she probably wears tampons.

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A hippie gets on a bus and greets the bus driver in a nice fashion Once the bus stops at his bus stop he thanks the bus driver and gets off the bus

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what do you call three kkk guys in your house ghost busters

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You're mother is so fat the doctors say she has a serious obesity problem and will most likely have to go on cholesterol pills and begin regulating her diet properly.

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how did the little girl die cancer

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What do you tell the woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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sooo.how do you get a bonner when your in a room with lady gaga???? you tell lady gaga to turn around and you think of brittany spears bending over get it nahhh probably not

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Knock knock? Who's there? To. To who? To WHOM.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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