A terrorist walks into a bar and shoots the bartender.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man walks into a bar, and says "ow."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a potocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve their kind here! Your droids will have to wait outside." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Why don't you wait out by the speeder, we don't want any trouble." The protocol droid replies, "I heartily agree, sir."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the homeless man get for his birthday. Nothing. Get it: He lived a life along with a giant family and on christmas eve 2012 he broke his kneecap and was in the E.R. He got out of the hospital on christmas only to come home to find a burning house; his house. Every member in his family died except for him as they were all in the house when it caught on fire. The house completely burnt and crumbled, and that is why he is homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but I'm your stalker, welcome to my deserted warehouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A blind man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and after a couple hours he leaves. He's only color blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

an amosh person used an electrical appliance

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What just hit my face? The floor

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock! Who's there? So. So who? Cares.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do people in Asia do for black history month? Nothing, black history month is an American thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q:why did the woman make a sandwitch. A: cause she is a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what do you call a dog with no legs? doesnt matter what you call him, he aint coming!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was the little boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his face. Why was the little girl sad? Because it was her frog.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a fly with no wings? A fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why is Alan in the hospital? Because he got cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Two men are sitting on the couch watching sports, the first man farts, the second chuckles. They continue watching their program.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How can you upset Helen Keller? In Braille spell out that she can't see or hear the hunger games

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats worse than 1 dead baby in a bag? Ten dead babies in one bag.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Child birth. So easy women can do it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: Whats worse than 8 babies in one bin? A: 1 babies in 8 bins

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A duck waddles into a bar. He orders a drink and promtly drinks it vecause he has had a hard day at work.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops