What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit it in the face with an axe

Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

What happened when the roof fell on a young boy? Nothing. He was an orphan.

How old is victor? Old

I went to a hockey game and the strangest thing happened; 2 players got into a fight!

the website says jokes, yet these are all facts.

A Banana wrote this...

What is wrong with this phrase? The next line is false. The first line is true. Answer: llamas

Why did the girl die? No one knows.

Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

a man walked up to me and said someone is dying with long terminal cancer i said who? man replies your cat. i replied i don't have a cat. man says whoops wrong person

Are you a human?

How do you make Sasuke cry? Kill his family

What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

iPhone's. Amirite? That's not even an anti-joke. Just a joke.

I farted once. Haiti took the brunt of it.

What is the difference between assault and aggravated assault? Aggravated assault is aggravated, whereas assault is aggravated.

Why did the cow have to travel everywhere by an electric scooter? It had motor neurone disease.

How do you kill somebody instantly? Make them smell Smelly mcD's socks.

Do Minnesotans have accents? Oh ya, you betchya.

Mitt Romney.

Why did the tree cross the road? A woman crashed into it.

How does a blonde restart her computer? Seriously, you guys, I need help. I'm not a very technological person.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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