Friend: I said pass the juice, not gas the jews! Hitler: Oh.

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Why cant Roger drive a tractor? Because Roger is a goldfish.

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A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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Did you hear about the elderly bank robber? Me neither.

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I saw a chameleon. Then it died

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whats gayer than 2 homosexuals? 3 homosexuals.

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imagine a world without santa ill make it easy, lookout the window

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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A rabbi walks into a bar mitzvah

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When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

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did u hear about evan porter going out with his computer of course not because u haven't read this joke yet

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why did the painter cry? he didnt have any paint left...

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A Mexican walks into an all white people bar. He then proceeds to buy rounds for everyone in the bar. Everyone thanks the mexican and everyone gets back to doing their own thing.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

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What do you call a man who has no heart? Dead

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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what do u call a gay bird a gaybird

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Nikii manaj is 99.9% fake on her body

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Q: How do you stop a Mexican tank? A: Ask politely.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? A fly.

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Your mother is so stupid she never finished College thus having to work many menial jobs to provide for her family.

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I like to eat people

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Whats Mary short for? Shes got no legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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