Umm Q Umm 69 Best one ever

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Doctor- Mr. Smith I have some bad news for you. Mr. Smith- Just tell it to me straight. How long have I got? Doctor- Not long. Mr. Smith- OK.

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*you're

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A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment were left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

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why are niggers afraid of the dark ? because they think that darkness is the only black thing there

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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what does adolf hitler and jewish people have in common? they *** and **** but **** will always **** that hard but **** is ****** up rather ******, and they don't eat bacon

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing situation.

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how mad would you be if i ate your golfish? Very angry, as my goldfish is not food.

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What did the leper say to the prostitute? Hello Prostitute.

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I little 3 year old girl said to her dog "You're my best friend in the whole world" AND THEN THE DOG DIED!

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why did stacey marry bally because she loves him

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Why did the chicken cross the road? KFC was closed.

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"knock knock" "who's there" nobody answered cus it was a bunch of little shits playing knock a door run

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You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

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How did bob Marley quit doing Drugs?

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Friend: I said pass the juice, not gas the jews! Hitler: Oh.

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You momma's so ugly your dad left her.

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Why did Jimmy fail his math test? Because he had a mental disability

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A Frenchman an Italian and an American were setting in a bar drinking and talking. The Frenchman said he made love to his wife five times last night. She said if I died she would never get married again. The Italian said said he made love to his wife ten times last night and that she said if he ever died she would kill her self. They asked the American how many times he made love to his wife last night. He said I'm a widower. She died in the 9/11 attacks.

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Enchilada

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What did chuck Norris say to the docter Nothing he never has to go to a hospital

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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