Knock Knock Who's there? It's the mailman delivering your weekly delivery

thumb_up thumb_down +56

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Halo < COD

thumb_up thumb_down +52

want to hear a joke? so a guy comes into a bar, wait no it was a horse so a guy comes into a horse,,,

thumb_up thumb_down +48

How does a blind bit of difference differ from one that can see?

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

say iphone 5 times then look under your pillow ...nothings there

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Yo Mommas so poor, when i went to her house and started to clear out the cob webs, she said why the heck are you tearing down the curtains.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at six o' clock in the morning? He puked a lot, and was diagnosed with a horrible digestive disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Uh, erm, uh...I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Roses are brown, violets are brown, who keeps shitting in my garden?

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A: ask me if I'm a truck. B: why? A: just ask me. B: are you a truck? A: no.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

thumb_up thumb_down +38

what's the difference between ya mum and a cow? nothing. by mad james

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +36

why is 4 afraid of 5? Because Monkey's eat purple pineapples

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Shortest Joke in the World? Well, just look down.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you kill a dinosaur? You don't. It's already dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Smart Blondes

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops