Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. Ask me if I'm a bush. Are you a bush? No.

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What did the blind man do in the dark room? Nothing, he couldn't see.

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Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised how far a can can preach in Chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he entered with a swine, and the muslim is embarrased for the horse.

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Q: What is black, white, and red all over? A: A nun in a blender.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The wind. The wind who? ...

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So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play.

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What's long, hard, and full of semen? a penis.

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You are in England which has a law about not moving traffic when these idk some kinda swans cross the road. You see a fat woman in a car and she is waiting for the swans to cross the road and she can't drive the car else she would get in trouble by law. What do you do? Feed her

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Wanna hear a good joke? I don't.

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whats long and hard and full of seamen a penis

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Yor Mama is soooooooooooo fat, when she looked in da mirror... it cracked.

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Q:Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple A:You have AIDS

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How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

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What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

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Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

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what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

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Where do black jews go? The back of the oven

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I ENJOY MASTURBATING

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Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and whey; Along came a spider, Who sat down beside her But was offered the window seat, Because this was Little Miss Muffet's stop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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