Whats worse then a pile of dead babies? One live baby at the bottom, eating its way out.

How many elephants can you fit in a car? Five. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Having lost his job, wife, and general sanity, he resorted to suicide by car accident.

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had alopecia.

What do you call an unexpected pregnancy? A defective condom.

What happened to the man that jumped off the cliff. He died....

A jewish man is sitting on a bench. A german man then proceeds to sit down next to him. They say nothing to each other.

What do you call an angry black man? Angry.

man: so where did you two meet? man tied to flower: in the produce section.

A:what happens when you throw a black guy down from sky-scraper Q:he dies

How so you find out if a black woman is pregnant? Have her take a pregnancy test

A day without sunshine is like night.

Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

What's funnier than 24? 25.

GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was born with the disorders of being blind and deaf. For any human, having blindness and deafness makes driving a near impossible task.

How does a black guy call to another black guy in Africa? using a telephone

dumbledore says,"today we will learn new spells,any questions?" a student says,"are you serious?" dumbledore says,"no he is in jail for a crime he didn't commit,sort of like the a-team."

a muslim, jew, and catholic went into a bar and sat down and had drinks. The muslim asks the jew "are you macrobiotic". the jew replies "no" and they go about their fun....

There's no "i" in tim.

What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Cadaliac? That was my Cadaliac

what do you call an overweight 80 year old white man trying to be a pimp ? Mr.Fredrickson

what is black, white, and red all over? A bloody panda

Why didn't the black man drink out of the white water fountain? Because he wasn't thirsty.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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