What do you call a dead cat on the side of the road? Kitty litter

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Oh hot damn, this is my jam. Strawberry, to be specific.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

There was a girl who dumped her diver boyfriend because she couldn’t get him to give her a pearl out of an oyster. This particularly female has rather high expectations for her significant others.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +80

A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

thumb_up thumb_down +70

What do you call it when 1 person has an imaginary friend? A mental disorder. What do you call it when 1 billion people have an imaginary friend? A Religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you get when you cross a cat with a giraffe? A genetically unstable animal that dies shortly after birth.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why didn't the boy respond to the text? His phone had run out of charge.

thumb_up thumb_down +137

What's as bad as doing something you don't like? Doing another thing you don't like

thumb_up thumb_down +69

A horse walks into a bar... it was accompanied by a blind man for it was a seeing eye pony and the bartender who was not tolerant to blind people turned away the man causing him to recieve dirty glances from the kindly patrons of the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

yo mamas so ugly she turned madoosa into stone

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you get when you cross a Shake Weight with Parkinson's Disease? You get a sentence that doesn't explain the end of the joke and leaves you without any closure.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

Why was Jesus able to walk on water? Because he was the son of God and therefore devine, he can do whatever he pleases

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Why was the swing in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do you call a black pilot? a pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Lol, thats sweet, you making me nervous in a good way now. No, the thing is that I need to use this crap every morning, yeah, but its late here now, and since I was born with this condition, remembering is far easier than forgetting, and while the bleeding has stopped now, I was never in any pain whatsoever, and the bleeding would have stopped eventually because of you know... Coagulation? But, if I lets say spend a week without my meds, things would look pretty ugly. I get the meds for cheap, by my new doctor since the old one was a bitch... Excuse me, can we take five minutes? I know I said I would return last time and did not, but I will, I am just a bit... Well, I need a bit more blood in my body right now, I am fine, no danger... If I where I would not be chatting here, but getting my ass of to the doc.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Q: What would you do for a Klondike bar? A: I would make the slightly onerous journey to the local grocery establishment and pay my hard-earned money to procure a dessert which I quite enjoy.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock knock Whos there? ... You got ding dong ditched

thumb_up thumb_down -11

there was a blond, a brunette, and a redhead at the edge of a cliff The blond being stupid jumped off the cliff and broke every bone in her body

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Why did the eighty year old man climb into a fridge? Because he wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down +133

What did Chuck Norris say to the boy? Sure I'll sign your t-shirt!

thumb_up thumb_down +69

An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman went in a hot air balloon and had a magical afternoon that none of them will ever forget, except the Scotsman because he fell out during take off and is now in a coma.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops