How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

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mitchell likes balls in his mouth.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Lol, thats sweet, you making me nervous in a good way now. No, the thing is that I need to use this crap every morning, yeah, but its late here now, and since I was born with this condition, remembering is far easier than forgetting, and while the bleeding has stopped now, I was never in any pain whatsoever, and the bleeding would have stopped eventually because of you know... Coagulation? But, if I lets say spend a week without my meds, things would look pretty ugly. I get the meds for cheap, by my new doctor since the old one was a bitch... Excuse me, can we take five minutes? I know I said I would return last time and did not, but I will, I am just a bit... Well, I need a bit more blood in my body right now, I am fine, no danger... If I where I would not be chatting here, but getting my ass of to the doc.

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What do you get when you cross a Shake Weight with Parkinson's Disease? You get a sentence that doesn't explain the end of the joke and leaves you without any closure.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? Lick his dog's penis.

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Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone he proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

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A:what happens when you throw a black guy down from a sky-scraper Q:he dies

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a giraffe? A genetically unstable animal that dies shortly after birth.

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What Do You Call A Man On Land With No Arms And Legs? Useless

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his wife and kids.

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Roses are red, violets are blue something stinks and I think it's you!

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What do you call a dead cat on the side of the road? Kitty litter

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What do you do if Zombies are chasing you and your friend? Trip the friend.

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Why did the blond crave hotdogs for breakfast? She was likely suffering a sodium deficiency from violently throwing up the night before.

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Q:How many prostitutes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two

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I'm not here.

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What's the best anti joke? this one

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Why does an elephant lay on it's back with its feet in the air? To trip birds.

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Q: What's black and can crash into you A: a black guy in a car

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and it's ruining his life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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