What did the cabbage say to the cabbage? I dont know ask the leafy guy.... >_

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A man walks into a bar. The other two ducked, and then immediately called an ambulance.

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What did Lebron James say to Brad Pitt? "What's up, Brad?"

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Three guys are in the desert. They find a lamp, they rub it, and a genie appears. The genie says "I'll grant each of you a wish." So the first guy says "I want to return to my family in my native country." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. The second guy says "I want to live in Hollywood, be famous and rich, and have dozens of girls around me." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. The third guy says "I want to go to Hawaii." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. So all three guys end up being happy.

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mitchell likes balls in his mouth.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on a deserted island when a genie appears and offers each of them one wish. Before making any decisions on what to wish for, the discuss what the smartest choice is. They return to the genie. The brunette wishes to return home, as does the blonde. The redhead wishes to be able to walk again. The genie denies the wish because to walk again she would have to wish for two legs. The genie leaves and the redhead eventually dies of dehydration as she cannot move and the water that she reaches from the ocean contains salt which dehydrates her faster than the water hydrates her.

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Why does god never feel anger? Because you need to exist to have feelings.

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What did the banana say to the peach? Dude, we can talk?

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Q: What does a blond do with a box of crayons? A: Paints a picture

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Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone he proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

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only in america: does pizza arrive at your house faster than an ambulence do banks leave their doors open and chain their pens to the desks people put their usless junk in the garage and thier expensive cars in the driveway

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'Knock' 'Knock' Who's there? Open the door and you will find out douche.

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Q: What's black and can crash into you A: a black guy in a car

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just the 1, Blondes aren't any dumber than anyone else. It's a myth.

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A man walks into a restaurant and ordered a soup. Then, he called the waiter and said the soup tasted funny. The waiter said, "so laugh". the man then killed the guy and sips the soup while laughing.

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Yo momma's so nice that she baked cookies for us. Please tell her I said thanks.

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

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A man walks into an anti Joke.

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Q: Why was Sally sad? A: Because she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock, Who's there? Not Sally.

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A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink The bartenders says no, because she is a woman, and he is a sexist Women are still not equally treated in this world

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a giraffe? A genetically unstable animal that dies shortly after birth.

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What's better than a pile of dead babies? Anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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