What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars except the duck.

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If Mormonism is true, and Mitt Romney becomes a god, what will that make him? Romniopotent.

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Q:What do they call her? A: They call her love,

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What do Tom Cruise and Santa Claus have in common? They are both are fat and have beards, except for Tom Cruise.

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Why was the man tired at his soccer game? Because he did not sleep well the night before

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Two black guys and a Latino were walking down the street. One of the black guys says to the Latino, "You have some lint on your suit." The Latino brushes it off and says, "Thank you. I have an important meeting with the board of trustees this afternoon, and it would have been embarrassing if I had lint on my suit."

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A blonde tries to kill herself cutting both her wrists.Why didn't it work? Because her boyfriend found her just in time and managed to stop the bleeding and took her to the hospital. After some years of therapy they get married and live happy together for the rest of their lives.

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Want to hear the best joke ever? Me too.

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Who is pack bombs and has gum cancer? • Theo Kingdom

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What did Lebron James say to Brad Pitt? "What's up, Brad?"

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels for the loss of their newborn child.

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8============D PEN1S

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Q: what did the deaf boy get for christmas? A: an ipod shuffle

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Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice carton? She was trying to read the nutrition label and had forgotten her reading glasses.

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How do you make an idiot laugh? Tell him a mildly funny joke relating to bodily functions, such as defecating or passing gas.

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What happened to the boy who got everything he ever wanted? He turned into a gluttonous and greedy adult who eagerly spent all of his money and subsequently died alone.

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jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water. jack fell down and broke his crown, and is now in intensive care.

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whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? i don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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How do you stop a black person from drowning? You don't.

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What would Billy Mays do if he were alive today? Yell.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? *cause 7 8 9? NO cause 7 was a n**ga!

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only in america: does pizza arrive at your house faster than an ambulence do banks leave their doors open and chain their pens to the desks people put their usless junk in the garage and thier expensive cars in the driveway

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whats worse than your little sster being raped? her being raped by your father.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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