What would Billy Mays do if he were alive today? Yell.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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what did the kid do after the rabbit told him trix are for kids? he beat him with a stick then ate some sushi.

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How do you stop a black person from drowning? You don't.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was lying about the wheels.

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How do you make lady gaga angry? punch her in the face and throw her off a cliff

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OMG I NEED FRESH WATER

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Two black guys and a Latino were walking down the street. One of the black guys says to the Latino, "You have some lint on your suit." The Latino brushes it off and says, "Thank you. I have an important meeting with the board of trustees this afternoon, and it would have been embarrassing if I had lint on my suit."

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What's the difference between a carrot and an elephant? The carrot is orange.

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Three guys are in the desert. They find a lamp, they rub it, and a genie appears. The genie says "I'll grant each of you a wish." So the first guy says "I want to return to my family in my native country." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. The second guy says "I want to live in Hollywood, be famous and rich, and have dozens of girls around me." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. The third guy says "I want to go to Hawaii." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. So all three guys end up being happy.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just the 1, Blondes aren't any dumber than anyone else. It's a myth.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, Knock. Who's there? ........Chicken...?

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Once upon a time, there was a pair of headphones. It loved the sound of music.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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German sausage is the wurst

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123

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What happened to the boy who got everything he ever wanted? He turned into a gluttonous and greedy adult who eagerly spent all of his money and subsequently died alone.

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'Knock' 'Knock' Who's there? Open the door and you will find out douche.

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A man walks into a bar. The other two ducked, and then immediately called an ambulance.

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Hitler had the right ideas, wne tupon it the wrong way.

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Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit on the back of the bus? All the other seats were taken....

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Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

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A man calls customer service. A man in India helps him with his problem.

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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