A man walks into a park and presents candy to children. They request more candy and thus are laureded into his van. They are raped murdered and never seen again.

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Three guys are in the desert. They find a lamp, they rub it, and a genie appears. The genie says "I'll grant each of you a wish." So the first guy says "I want to return to my family in my native country." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. The second guy says "I want to live in Hollywood, be famous and rich, and have dozens of girls around me." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. The third guy says "I want to go to Hawaii." The genie snaps his fingers, and the guy disappears. So all three guys end up being happy.

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If Mormonism is true, and Mitt Romney becomes a god, what will that make him? Romniopotent.

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Hitler had the right ideas, wne tupon it the wrong way.

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What did one dolphin say to the other? Nothing. It was dead.

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Who is pack bombs and has gum cancer? • Theo Kingdom

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What did Lebron James say to Brad Pitt? "What's up, Brad?"

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Q:What do they call her? A: They call her love,

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Q: what did the deaf boy get for christmas? A: an ipod shuffle

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jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water. jack fell down and broke his crown, and is now in intensive care.

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Want to hear the best joke ever? Me too.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars except the duck.

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Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

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What happened to the boy who got everything he ever wanted? He turned into a gluttonous and greedy adult who eagerly spent all of his money and subsequently died alone.

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Two black guys and a Latino were walking down the street. One of the black guys says to the Latino, "You have some lint on your suit." The Latino brushes it off and says, "Thank you. I have an important meeting with the board of trustees this afternoon, and it would have been embarrassing if I had lint on my suit."

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was lying about the wheels.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? *cause 7 8 9? NO cause 7 was a n**ga!

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There was was 14 apples in a tree. And that's it.

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Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice carton? She was trying to read the nutrition label and had forgotten her reading glasses.

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whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? i don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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What would Billy Mays do if he were alive today? Yell.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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