Q: What do cows do on the weekends? A: They go to the Moovies Q:What do pigs do on the weekends? A:Go Bowling

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Lets make like trees and stand still

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What did the penis say to the vagina? Nothing, genitalia can't speak.

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whats the difference between a black man and a bench a bench can support a family

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Why was the girl crying? She got kicked in the vagina

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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Knock knock. Come in. Okay.

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KIMBERLEY HONEY

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Where do cows go on the weekend? The slaughterhouse.

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Where did Lucy go after being hit by a train? Well, the results of this question are somewhat difficult to pinpoint, but here is a generalized ratio model. 47% of Lucy went underneath the trains wheels and was left behind, crushed into the railway sleepers. 33% was thrown aside and discarded around the SIDES of the track. 19% was carried on the front of the train, into the next station where it fell off as soon as the train stopped. 1% was found in Mount Everest.

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A Black a Jew and a Pollack walk in to the bar bartender says "how may i help you gentlemen"

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A guy is playing cod

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno, that's why I asked you.

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What did batman say to the Joker? I'm Batman

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Whats worse than than Holocaust.? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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How do you kill a blond wearing a hat? Shoot her in the face.

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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What's so funny about an anti-joke? Nothing.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing because muffins can't talk. The other muffin replied, 'What an odd conversation starter!'

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Q: What's the longest word in the dictionary? A: According to the Oxford English Dictionary (second edition), it is "Pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism."

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this dock and it makes me wana quack like what the hell is THAT!

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What do the Wizard of Oz, Popeye and my sweaty, fat asshole all have in common? The letter O.

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Make an effort in life whenever you want. Fight trough life when you got no other choice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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