Q:How do you turn off a Jewish Lamp? A: You press the Auschwitz.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they have an in depth understanding of astrophysics and interstellar travel.

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Why did the man fall down the steps? I shot him in the face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it is common to find chickens and other wild and/or domesticated animals roaming through the streets in a multitude of countries.

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If you have alzeimers, wait, never mind i forget.

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Why did video kill the radio star? He slept with videos wife.

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A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

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Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

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Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

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Did you hear that joke about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

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-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

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Baby seal walks into a club... what a tragedy

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when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

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Who is Red and White and comes on Christmas? A Russian Candy Cane

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how do you confuse a brunette? tell a joke about how there are no beaches in florida

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what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

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Whats worse than The Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a log? I think the better question is why are you mixing those two things together?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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