What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

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Okay so two penquins are sitting in a bathtub when one asks the other "Hey pass the soap!". The other one jokingly replies "what do I look like a typewriter?"

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding, Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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W.N.B.A.

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When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

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What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

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What is the best thing since sliced bread? Sliced butter.

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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how do you reunite the beatles 2 bullets

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Ferrari ? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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whats worse then getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by 2 giant scorpions!!!!!

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A woman gets in her car to drive.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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What is the difference between a black man and a white man? Different skin color.

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roses are red, violets are blue, fudge is sweet, heres some fudge.

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What do you call Obama? - the president

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Knock knock It's open, come in.

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Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? Everyone on board died.

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How Long is a Chinese man.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? The police Johnson Oh, come in Mr Johnson

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What did the dead baby say to his mother? Nothing. He's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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