An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all walked into a bar. But, the bartender was not happy, as he had noticed that each of them were wearing tops with rude slogans on them. The Bartender said to the Englishman, "you do know that your t-shirt isn't suitable for the children in here, don't you?" "Oh," said the Englishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home to change it at once." Next, came the Irishman, who's top was slightly worse than the Englishman's. The bartender said to the Irishman, "you do know that the joke on your jumper is sexist, don't you?" "Oh," said the Irishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home and change it at once." Last, was the Scotsman. The Scotsman's top was particularly bad, and the bartender especially did not want this top to be seen in his bar. So, the bartender said to the Scotsman, "you do know that the slogan on your cardigan is racist, don't you?" "Oh," said the scotsman, "I'll go home and change it at once."

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Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

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Did you hear about that one time (@ band camp lol) where there was a little boy and he wanted to go swimming sooooo abd and then ooo look squirrel

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What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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What do you call a pickle with a cape? A pickle with a cape

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Which one is hardest?

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Your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it says 300 lbs.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

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What do you call a black Arnold Schwarzenegger? Arnold Schwarzenegger.

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What's your name? You tell me.

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Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

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What's the difference between me and you? Dr. Dre

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What rhymes with sloth? Cloth

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What s faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

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A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk into a bar. They sit down and have a calm discussion about the differences in their beliefs.

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You're momma's so fat, that I just wanna go over there and make hot passionate love to her. What? I'm a chubby chaser.

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A mute says to a paraplegic: You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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guess what Beethoven is doing right now. de-composing

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a chicken

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Why did the passenger plane crash? Well, if not mechanical failure or human error, probably because a bomb was detonated onboard.

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Do you know any good bird jokes? Well this is hawkward...

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Why didn't the boy enjoy his lunch? It was dinner time.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops