Two muffins were in the oven. One muffin goes "whoo! It's getting hot in here!" the other muffin goes "ahhh! A talking muffin!!!"

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What's the similarity between a plum and an elephant? Both are purple, except for the elephant.

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Why was the alpaca sad He just got raped

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What's the difference between 2 flies? Their DNA

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A gorilla walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of celery. The bartender stands speechless due to the ridiculousness of the given situation.

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What's the difference between 6 and 7? 1.

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What do you call something with no legs or arms swimming in the lake? A fish.

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Feet

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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If I just post the same thing someone else posted and say it was mine, I'm gonna be really popular because everyone is too dumb to realize it's not my original work of genius.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

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Your Mother is so kind that when I see her I say hello and ask her how she has been

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What's black, white and red all over and can't turn around in a corridor? A nun with a spear through her

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was a self-absorbed prick. And, honestly, the chicken and the road weren't that great of friends anyway.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

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Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

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Why does kelly keep going on about breasts ? cus shes into chicks !!!

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What did the blind, deaf, mute child get for Christmas? Leukemia

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What did the homeless child get for Christmas? Jumped.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is very bad looking

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Q: What does Osama Bin Laden's dead body and a sea sponge have in common? A: Nothing. One was buried in respectful accordance with Islamic law and the other is an animal of the phylum Porifera that's incapable of murdering thousands of innocent persons.

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What's worse than sitting in a car that's steered by a woman? Sitting in an airplane steered by a suicidal pilot.

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Why was Jimmy afraid of coming out of the closet? He had agoraphobia.

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How did Jesus walk on water? He was Jesus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops