What's the most wonderful time of the year? When your wife dies.

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if u dislike this u r most likely depressed

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What do Chuck Norris and Oprah Winfrey have in common? They are both white, male, good actors, white, rich, and white. Except for the eagle.

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God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The IRS.

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If TACOS are Mexican PASTA is Italian HAMBURGER is American Then what is pizza???..... Dough, Cheese and Sauce Just Kidding, that was bad..... Turtles..... :D

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What the diffrence between a jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? -call the fire department

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What do you call an illegal citizen from the Middle East? Someone seeking a better life in a democratic country after suffering in a communist government for his entire life.

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What do you call it when a drunk guy puts a tree in his house and then decorates his fireplace with his socks? Christmas (I didn't come up with this)

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What's worse than anti-joke.com? Non-anti-joke.com! Louis

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Do you want to come with me? NO! oh i wanted to cum on your face. Thats god damn gay Nope thats god damn sexy.

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How many doctors does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister are in a boat in the middle of the lake when a lightning bolt flashes out of the sky and hits them. Fortunately, no one died because only about 10% of those struck are killed.

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My butt!!!!

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So i walk in my house after drinking that night.... my wall is green

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The husbant is back from work. He opens the door of closet and finds... Narnia.

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Knock Knock! Come in.

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a muslim walks in to a bar... there were no survivors

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A man walks into a bar. Now, that's unheard of !

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Why did the man with no arms and legs fall out of the tree? Gravity.

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What do cats eat for Dinner? Cat Food.

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roses are black, violets are black, im sleeping

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the guy below me is gay

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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