What did the giraffe say to the monkey? Nothing

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One drunk bug looks over to another drunk bug and guess what it says? Your a glitch

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What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

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nbjhfghl

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Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he wa depresed

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Pickle!

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Who wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene? An arsonist who happens to be a forest ranger.

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picked her up and then they had sex.

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Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive? A:Because she is a woman A: She is blind deaf and dumb A: No seriously because she is dead.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

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What do you call a used garden tool? A dirty hoe (not ho)

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What did Tommy's father tell him on Christmas? Nothing, he was violently stabbed to death on Christmas Eve.

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roses are red violetes are blue you need to shut up or I will kill you

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. Your family is dead.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

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i am predestal

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Binladen coming to a beach near you :D

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a man walks into a bar.......ouch

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How did the jew reply to the racist comment? Judaism is not a race, it's a religion.

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Punchline.

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Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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