What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 9/11

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What did the fat man get for his birthday? diabetes

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You mamma's so fat that even Dora can't explore her!

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What do you call a young fortune teller who just escaped from jail? A small medium at large.

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Two oranges walking down the street, one says to the other, "Where do you live?". The other replies "I'm not telling you, you'll steel my washing"

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69

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What do you call a gay drive by? a fruit rollup

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A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

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what's your favorite soccer team? liverpool

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Your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it says 300 lbs.

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Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

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why can't the black man get a job? The economy is suffering and unemployment rates are at an all time high

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

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A guy walks into a bar and asks a nice looking girl if he can buy her a drink. She promptly rejects the offer.

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A man and a woman are in bed together and really want to do something, what is that something? Sleep.

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There's a American, Mexican, and a Canadian stranded in the desert. They couldn't find any food, water, and shelter. They were all really hungry and thirsty. Later that day the Mexican dies from a very bad infection on his neck.

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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If you have alzeimers, wait, never mind i forget.

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Which of the following is NOT true? A. The lemon is walking to a store. B. The store is walking to a lemon. C. The man is a lemon and a store. D. Peanuts are stuck in my anus

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What do you call a cow with big horns? A bull.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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When life gives you melons, you know you're dyslexic.

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Whats worse than The Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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