What did the man say to the other man? I am unsure of what he said, but it seemed like a pretty nice conversation until one of the men got hit by a elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

thumb_up thumb_down -49

a man walks into a bar, sits down, sighs and says, "i had the worst day ever." the bartender replies with, "worse than 9/11?" the man then says "well, 9/11 wasn't that bad."

thumb_up thumb_down -81

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't because it got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -125

A plane carries 500 bricks. 1 falls out. How many bricks are left? 499. How do you put an elephant in a fridge in 3 steps? Open the fridge, put in the elephant, and close the fridge. How do you put a deer in a fridge in 4 steps? Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the deer, then close the fridge. The Lion King is having a party. All the animals are there except for one; who is it? The deer: He is still in the fridge. An old lady is crossing a swamp, but it is a crocodile swamp. How does she cross? Normally, all the crocodiles are at the Lion King's party The old lady dies at the edge of the swamp. How? A brick falls from the sky and kills her.

thumb_up thumb_down +84

What do you call a Russian civil war? A war in which one side wants to seced from the other.

thumb_up thumb_down +76

The racist uncle went to attend his nieces bat-mitzvah. Although he is racist, he is smart enough to not speak his mind, for he is in a temple, and may offend many people at the service.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Two jews walk into a bar. They laugh over a beer and leave

thumb_up thumb_down +72

What is the best thing about having sex with twenty-seven year old's? There's twenty of them

thumb_up thumb_down +62

what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What happend when Chuck Norris did a push up? He did one push up.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

STOP LOOKING AT MY JOKE

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A pregnant woman takes the bus, once inside she realizes that there are no seats. No one was pollite enough to let her sit down so she felt pretty uncomfortable on the way home.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Q: why did the black man cry when he went to bed? A: he had just had a visit from the police and apparently his family had been tragically killed in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and smell

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did the cowboy say to the alien? Nothing, this is a dream. Wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

My sister has to take a dump

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did the little boy find when he came home from school? His mother hanging from a tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your worst nightmare!! Ohh.... Do come in it's raining outside.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

what did the catholic priest say to the little boy? -probably something about god or jesus because they are in church

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What type of movies do pirates watch? None they are on a boat!

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +34

what is poop in pee? bagel thins? tuesday.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops