Think of a number between -1 and 1 That's how many friends you have

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yo momma is so stupid she went to the beach and the whales song " dooooooonnn't stop. belieeeeving. wwwwwhoooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOA"

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What if Chuck Norris got shot by a bullet? The most interesting man in the world would save him.

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why did the mexican cross the road? to catch its bus on the other side

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Q: What did the guy say to his girlfriend? A: "I like turtles!" Then he smacks her ass.

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Q. Why did uncle Al die of smoking? A. His socks were to big -Noah Weisskopf

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What's the best thing about sex with 24 year olds? They're in their sexual prime.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a retard? NOTHING!!!!!!

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Q: why did timmy fall over? A: he was hit by a plane

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I slept with a girl with aids and now I do and so does everybody else I have sex with

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What can't think, see, hear, taste, or smell? A Headless Cat

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What do you call a Russian civil war? A war in which one side wants to seced from the other.

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ur mother

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What did the baby said to her mother? Nothing because she aborted him

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Your mother is so fat, that she's working really hard to get back in shape so that she can support her family.

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ruddell and dodds anal

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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roses are red violets are blue kiss my ass you god damb goe..

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Yo mama so poor... that she possesses substantially less money than the average person working hard in order to accumulate money today.

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what's worse than two dead babies? three dead babies.

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I'm gay. Great me too.

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I was walking on the beach when I heard a man yell "Help, Shark, Help!" and I laughed, because I knew the shark wasn't going to help him.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interru--- MOO! I'm so sorry, I have Tourette's Syndrome and cannot control these sudden outbursts. Please continue.

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A white guy and a black guy are standing in a room. Which one of them is a murderer? I don't know, there is not enough information given in the question. However, according to Bureau of Justice murder statistics over the last 30 years, the black guy is 7.6 times more likely to be a murderer than a white guy in the United States.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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