What does the time bomb say to the idiot? Nothing, time bombs are inanimate objects and therefore can't speak.

Q:What do you call a dog with no legs? A:It doesnt matter he's not gonna come

Haikus are easy They are simpler than you think Just don't run out of...

Why don't you have a seat, over there?

Why did the black man win the staring contest? He's good at staring

Why was Bill Clinton such a good president? He went to ifreeclub.com

“Anything that moves ey?” – William Deane

Why wasn't the child breastfed? Because it's mother died while in the process of giving birth and the father does not have the necessary mammary glands to produce human milk for the young child.

What's the difference between a Satyr play and a Sedar meal? One is full of horned goat-men, the other is a feast that marks the beginning of Passover.

How do you win a war? Drop a fridge on your enemies.

A black guy and a Mexican jump off a bridge. Who dies first? Nobody cares.

Go away.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Africa is great, you should get raped

Golf.

Knock Knock Why are you knocking? I have a doorbell.

What did the Pillow say to the Blanket? Nothing. Inanimate objects do not contain the ability to speak, therefore they could not possibly say anything to each other.

A black guy and a white guy are sitting in the bar. Later they will probably return to their respectable homes.

A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

live babies

Brett Farve

Baseball

I've got the moobs like jagger.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it damn well felt like it.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar..... Wait..... How?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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