A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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A man in a restaurant says "Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup?" The waiter apologizes and offers to comp the meal.

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Frogs with dislocated fingers....................................................CARROT

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Yeah, you cant make nukes without certain components which are illegal to come by, you know Iranian Uranium I believe, I still feel pretty ill, if you dont mind, lets change the subject. Say, does the word yellowcake mean anything to you?

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What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing, the holocaust was a tragic event in human history.

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If an iPad 2 is better than an iPad 1, than what's better than an iPad 2? An iPad 3

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Whats the difference between the floor and the ceiling? One of them is higher!

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Q: why is the squirrel stuck in the tree? A: because he should have finished high school.

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I used to be a Businessman like you, then I took a plane to the North Tower.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" Not the best move Anne Frank ever made.

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What's grosser than gross? Grossest.

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Whats the difference between a fire hydrant and the color green? They're both green. Except the fire hydrant.

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Dinosaur!

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Ching Chong Chinaman sitting on a wall. Along came the white man and greeted him hello.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm from the Department of Child Services, i'm here to take your children.

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Why did ned fall out of the tree? Because he was hit by a koala.

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I'm Halarious.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

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What does the Christian celebrate on Christmas? Christmas

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how did the girl fall off the swing. BECAUSE SHE HAD NO ARMS HAHAHAH

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops. What's worse than being raped by a Triceratops? Being gang raped by a herd of Triceratops.

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What happens when you cross a housecat with a feral cat? A kitten is born.

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What's the difference between a bowl of cereal and a bowl of pudding? A bowl of cereal has milk in it.

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Why did the man fall off the cliff? I don't know, I have mental AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops