What did the handicapped boy say to his mother? Nothing, his severe mental retardation impaired his ability to learn the English language.

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johann grayson being liked

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What did the farmer say when he lost his donkey? "Oh no, my donkey is my livelihood and the only means I have of supporting my family. Now, we shall surely starve."

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What's the difference between a duck? A vest has no sleeves.

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Oceanic flight 815 crashes on an island and the survivors are stranded. They all die of starvation and dehydration within a week.

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What is shorter than a toddler? A jewish lifespan.

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Two parrots are in a cage. The one looks at the other one and says, "answer the phone," and the other one says, "where are my car keys."

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How do you drown a blonde? Hold her head under water.

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So there's this cup that I own... I use it to aid in the drinking of my hot or cold beverages.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Its a chicken, giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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Dani Barton = Stupid

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whats pink and fluffy? candy floss.

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A: Want to hear a funny joke? B: Nah, I'm okay

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The iPhone5. It's kinda Gay

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No.

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Your momma is SOO FAT that I had to call my doctor. He said you should go on a diet and exercise. I called my local gym and gave your mom a 3 months membership. Monday to Friday. Your welcome and good luck.

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what's brown and sticky? a stick.

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What is the difference between the number 20 and 21 1

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whats worse than dropping your ice cream down the stairs? dropping your baby down the stairs

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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What do you call a bad joke? Unfunny.

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What do you call a man with no eyes or ears? - Deaf and Blind.

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Turtles

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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