Two guys were sitting in a pub.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is the black mans favorite color? -Time for you to get a watch

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What was the woman doing in the kitchen? Investigating a murder..

thumb_up thumb_down +22

anus soup

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q:Where does a woman work at if she has a job? A: IHOP!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

johann grayson being liked

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What did 0 say to 8. A: Nothing...However multiplied they equal 0

thumb_up thumb_down +18

An asian kid in a classroom starts to squint to try to see the board that is far away. A white man looks at the kid and asks, "Hey asian, is it hard for you to see that board?" The Asian replies, "Yes, yes it is."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

An Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a pub where they are presented with a situation, the Englishman and Scotsman react appropriately but the Irishman does something foolish.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

penis

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a mexican sleeping in a car tired.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

jokes r dumb

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 50 in the ashtray.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many black guys does it take to change a lightbulb? None can, since noone can work together because they cant see eachother.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why are Chinese people only allowed one child? Because their government states so.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your Mamma is so poor that she begs for money.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Murray Harnett Smells like a dirty Burringbar Whore!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why is little Susie crying? Her entire family is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How did the man become sterilized? Blow-dart through the testicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The Aristocrats

thumb_up thumb_down

What's silver and bad for your teeth? A wrench

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops