Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

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Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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Is your refrigerator running? I hope so, or else the food will go bad!

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What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? The holocaust.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew?

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what do you call a black guy with a bachelor's degree? by his first name, "Carl".

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Sex

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How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

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Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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Why did the man apologize to the other man, after he had hit him with an axe? He didn't. The man was dead.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

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That awkward moment when you get in the van and there's no candy.

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

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What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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