Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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The blond detective was searching a crime scene and replied to the police officer, "I smell something fishy about this situation." She was on her period as a matter of fact, and bled all over her trousers.

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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Something strange in you're neighborhood. Who you gonna call? The police.

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Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

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Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

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Whats luckier than finding a lucky penny? winning the lottery.

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Whats funnier than a black man? A black president

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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What is blue and has wheels? A disabled Smurf!

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What did the amputee get for chritmas? A bicycle

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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So this guy walks into a bar and– Nevermind it's really not that funny.

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Why was the girl distressed by the photo of her boyfriend's mutilated corpse? Because it was out of focus.

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a man walks into a bar, what does he say answer: oww..

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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i'm hard

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If u give brandon a stick he will most likely poke u

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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When life gives you lemons, refrigerate them so they don't go bad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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