Michael Jackson and Barack Obama talked to each other about oreos

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

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Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability

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whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

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A man came home and witnessed his wife having an affair with another man. The husband and wife got into a huge argument and eventually got divorced

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Why was the black person assassinated behind a drug dealers house? He was purposely shot in the leg and bled out before he could make it to help.

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Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangeroot ? Ones a marsupial. The others a Geordie stuck in a lift.

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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Who didnt visit the orphanage this year? Mom...

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what did the hobo as the other hobo? do u have any cheese?

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A man walks into a bar and orders four shots. Before the bartender asks "If it really is that bad of a day". The man says "Yea I need this shit". The next day the bar is overwhelmed with police and investigators. The bartender had emptied a revolver in the tired business man's face and vanished.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

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I road a horse to school. My friend stabbed it with a Javelin and screamed.... The horse was his Dad

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS.

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What do you call a black drug dealer? A black man that works as a drug dealer

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What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

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Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Daisies are red. WHY IS MY GARDEN ON FIRE?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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