What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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Two guys walk into A bar. The third one ducks.

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What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot you racist! Jk a terrorist

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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What did the cow say to the Businessman? Nothing. Cows cant talk.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge.

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Your mamas so fat, she was self-conscious about her weight and became an antisocial vegetable.

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When the going gets tough... Commit suicide.

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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My dog dumps in my house she looks at me and says rut row

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson's in here," and the Higgs Boson says, "But I thought Christianity promised acceptance to everyone who believes."

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?? Cause he got hit by a bus.

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What did the church say to the house? You need jesus

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When lives gives you lemons you might just be dyslexic, because life cannot actually give you lemons

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What's harder than breaking up with your girlfriend? A stone.

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What's easier than a whore? Doesn't matter, your mom's a whore either way.

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What's worse than breaking a leg? Breaking two legs.

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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q: why won't the asian girl do anything? a: it's pretty hard to move or speak being gagged and tied up in my basement

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How many filthy niggers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, because I killed off all the filthy niggers.

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What did the tractor say to the farmer? Nothing, tractors don't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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