Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk die and find themselves standing before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Actually, that's just speculation. No one really knows what happens when you die. Most likely your consciousness simply stops, and you cease to exist, an eternity of oblivion. But most people can't face this possibility so we have made up comforting stories to attempt to ease our collective fear of death.

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A polar bear walks into a bar, sits down, and says, "Can I have a.........................beer?" The bartender asks, "Why the large pause?" The bear responds, "I have a speech impediment"

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What did the man say when he was stabbed on the street? Nothing, because he died.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

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did you know that zach is the coolest person ever? no? well now you know

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Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

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Why did the chicken cross the dairy farm? Sex.

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What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

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Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What do you do when you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath? Laugh at him

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how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

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What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

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what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

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I have a dirty joke. Yesterday I fell in the mud.

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The only time when white and black are together When I've just taken a shit! ?ttis

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari. A Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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Matt is a Duster!

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Your mom's house is so old, that she has rats and other various critters such as spiders, gnats, and mosquitoes.

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What's the difference between a Rabbi and a Priest? One's a Jew, one's a Christian

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LeBron in the fourth quarter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops