An Irishman walks into a club. "Ow, that was almost as painful as that time I walked into a bar."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worst than a worm in your apple? Finding your mom in a porno.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two men walk into a bar. The first man says to the bartender "I'd like some h2o". The second man says "I'd like some h2o to". The second man died.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make a baby understand what you want? You color yourself purple, wear a yellow shirt, and do cart wheels while singing "The wheels on the bus go 'round and 'round!"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why was 7 afraid of 6?that is impossible it is older than six and stronger than its mother

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did Yoda say to Darth Vader? The only time the two had talked Darth Vader was still Anakin therefor, he said nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why does pavement get hot. Because it’s black. How could you tell she had bruises. Because they were black. Why did the boy drop out of school. Because he was dying of melanoma.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many times do you have to make an ass of yourself before you look like a retard and thinking ''random'' means funny? Fuck yourself HAHAHAHAHA seriously stahp

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Potassium? K.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the man go to McDonalds? Because he was a pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why cant kellen heller drive? She was born with the disabilities of being blind and deaf, thus rendering her unable to operate a vehichle.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops