Q: What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? A: I don't know; I was too busy trying to find my camera.

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A man walks into a bar, and then a second man walks into a bar. The third man ducked.

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How many 3 legged black Irish catholic obstetricians, walking into a bar, does it take to make a chicken cross the road? Fish!

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A man and a woman have drunk, unprotected sex, and 9 months later, they have a beautiful baby girl. What did they call her? An accident.

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Someone: I like my coffee like I like my men Someone else: Black? Someone: No, tied up, shoved in a burlap sack, and dragged through the mountains.

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How do you torture a turtle? If you came up with an answer to that question you are completely and utterly unethical and immoral.

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A 65 year old man is tired with his life. He begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. He wants no part in the world anymore so he decided to commit suicide. On his way to commit suicide, he comes across a magical man that has an extraordinary offer. This magical man has offered to grant the 65 year old man the power to fly. The 65 year old man, accepts the offer in great interest, but the magical man wants something in return for his deed. The 65 year old man, offers all the money in his wallet to the magical man. The magical man accepts his offer of all the money and continues. With a flick of the wrist, the magical man says, "fly, fly, high as the sky, i grant this man the ability to fly". The 65 year old man is greatly excited now that he has the ability to fly. He cant wait to try out his new power. He runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. Too bad the "magical man" was really a male prostitute that was broke and homeless. The 65 year old man died on impact and the male prostitue walked away with a wallet full of cash.

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Brian knew how to save the world from the death penalty: "Let's kill everybody who is not against it." So I killed Brian and waste my time in death row now.

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yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

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OSS ARE RED VIOLENTS IS BLUE U BELONG THE ZOO I WILL BE THERE TO BUT LAUGHIN AT U

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A boy walks home from school. On his way home some bullies stole his kite. When the boy got home he was greeted by a police officer that told him that his parents had been killed. The boy started crying and the Police officer said " whats wrong?". The boy replied " some bullies stole my kite".

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hey fat ass u want some butter with them rolls?

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Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

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David Cameron

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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A man walked into a bar. He got drunk and left.

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Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks. The rest of the bar patrons are thoroughly confused.

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What does Chuck Norris order at a coffee shop? Coffee.

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Sally has no arms. A: Knock kock? B: Whose there? Not Sally.

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Why did the black man across the road? just kidding he didnt make it across the road i hit him with my car

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops