Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

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What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

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Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

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Who's a tool and a NARC? Josh Brami!

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why did the little boy fall down?? Because a terrorist shot him

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Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

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What's your favorite Sylvia Plath quote? "Turn on the oven."

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cops:knock- knock person: who's there? cops: the cops person: the cops who cops: we found the body #Casey Anthony

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

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Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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why did the boy call the girl a bitch? Because she was beautiful.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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What's the difference between a Toyota Camry and 20 dead babies? I don't have 20 dead babies in my garage.

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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how do you break up with someone lightly and not hurt their feeling I dont want to hurt your feeling but i hate you

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A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

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Wait a moment, I will see what I can do.

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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Your momma's so stupid she stuck a power cable up her ass. Shortly after she died

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knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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