What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? About 3:26 PM Eastern Standard Time.

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Three men sat at a pub, it reminded them of this joke they once heard

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What happens when you touch a curling iron to your arm? You get burned.

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knock knock who's there? the police you are wanted for 5 counts of 1st degree murder.

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What's the difference between a screwdriver and DJ Pauly D? One's a tool and one is an inanimate object.

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where did napolean keep his armies? In his sleevies!

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what is the difference between a cow?? there is no difference, you can't make a comparison between different object when there is only one object beïng named.

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Q:why was the man on a two seated bycicle by himself? A:his wife had recently died and he wasn't ready to let go

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Woman : Child,what time is it? Child : I'm not a kid, I Broccoli.

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Whats worse then nailing ten babies to a tree? Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

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A black man says "ask" correctly.

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dfsgdf g dsf g sdfg sdf gsd fg sdfg s df g sdf gs df g sdf g sdfg sdf g sdfgsadg awetrawefads f asdf asdrfasrg sdf nfghjml ho ;l jkm gascSDagfgh dj gf hdfgh khdkfgkfgkj gjkf g afg adf g dfgs df g sd fg s dfg sdfg df g sdf g s df gsdf g sdf g f t r j yu k yuilk yiol o l rt wer t wer t we t w e rt w er

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is this love , is this love , is this love , that im feeling , no bob im afraid its cancer.

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knock knock who's there? Tommy Tommy who? Tommy Smith from across the street, i just ran over your dog.

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How do you stop an assassin? Kill their target

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Knock Knock Who's there? Never mind, it's just an imaginary door anyway.

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Two men walk into a bar. Seeing as the first man could have suffered a concussion, and been seriously hurt, The second man ducks to avoid also being hit by the bar.

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If you were an octopus what would you? Say "I an octopus".

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Dead baby jokes aren't funny, dead babies are though.

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How do you act when you discover that the 'Submit' button doesn't work? Wait for a while until the problem fixes itself and you are able to perform the desired function.

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What did the old man say to his grandson before he kicked the bucket?? "I wonder how far i can kick this bucket..."

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Why was the boy hot? Because he was stuck in an oven.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his parents died.

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they make me sick. i hate them all with their big noses. they should all be rounded up and............... Oh I'm sorry, i thought this was anti-jew.com

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops